Saturday, January 31, 2009

I Needed To See.

Ok, many people don’t even know that at times I struggle with fears. As I’m sure most of us do. But at times they try to hit me pretty hard. And the last few weeks It’s tried to break me down.

For several years I suffered from sever acid reflux and other stomach troubles. And with this come many pains and pains in the chest. And at times can make you feel like your going to die. And trust me, at that point you start praying and praying hard. With all this, it had begun working on me… or should say the enemy was working on me… and at times it can cause panic attacks. And those are no fun too.

Every one that knows me knows I am a born again Christian, that I love the lord and do my very best for him. So with this said, how can I, a child of god have these fears? Fears that have been tormenting me day and night. Fears that can grab me so hard and cause sheer panic in me? And to top that off, my family and friends diden't even know it most of the time. I never say anything.. I just get up and walk around the house a lot, or keep my mind busy on the computer setting here thinking, and most of all praying. How can I, Gods child; have this? It has been a struggle in my mind and spirit. Asking God all the time, Lord, what is wrong with me? I’m yours; I shouldn’t even be feeling this way. I of all people should know better? I’m speaking your word, I’m praying, I’m doing all that I know to do… so why?

As I began reading a book the other day.. “Curing the Incurable – How to receive healing in hopeless situations” forward by R.W. Shambach, book by Jack Coe. God showed me some things. There are 5 keys to healing in the book, but what God began to reveal to my heart was this… he said.. you know how you set and see yourself sick? You know how you see yourself afraid to even go to town alone, or even go into the bathroom without your cell phone when home alone?… god said, you see these things in your minds eye.. You see the fear, you see things happening to you… you SEE the bad but pray for the Good.. and I had to stop in my tracks and say…. Oh lord, you are right!! I SEE these things in my mind. Oh Lord, I am so sorry! I felt so bad. Why? Because I’m always telling others.. you have to SEE what God is doing in YOUR life.. and here I was not even seeing my own!! It sadden my heart to the point of crying.

God said, Patty… remember your favorite verse in the bible? The one you named Jessie after? I said, yes.. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen… He said, Patty… say this with me.. NOW, Faith is the substance of THINGS HOPED FOR!!… and I did, and he said… what do you hope for? What you HOPE for, you SEE. When you set and dream of things.. you see them in your minds eye… your heart.. you see yourself going places that you dream of, or buying something you would love to own.. you see yourself driving that new car, or spending your life with that one you love.. you SEE these things… you HOPE these things. And God said…….. Patty….. SEE yourself healed.. see yourself with NO Fear.. see yourself doing and going where I send you.. SEE yourself the way you pray. I said…Oh Lord, I understand… I must SEE myself as YOU say I am!!

Well, all I could do was cry.. and I began to speak out.. Lord, your word says… now FAITH is the substance of things HOPE FOR.. And with my heart, my minds eye… I HOPE, I SEE myself healed.. I see myself going each day with NO FEAR, I SEE myself walking again with JOY, no pain, no fear, I SEE myself doing the work that you set me here for!! Thank you Lord, that I Can SEE.. I SEE what I HOPE for!!

I have been doing this every day now, and when those fears, those panic attacks, that pain comes, when the enemy says.. you’ll never be better, you’ll never go and be normal again, you’ll always feel this way… I say NO, my God says HOPE, SEE… and I SEE ALL that He has for me, and I walk in that! I no longer SEE what you are trying to show me, I SEE what MY God says I am!! I SEE it in Jesus Name!!

What happens when we do this.. God has made a way of escape for me, he has set me free from the chains that try to hold me back.. He makes the enemy flee from me. And Gives me hope!!

What do you SEE in your life? What pictures play over and over in your minds eye? Do you see endless doom and gloom? Never having enough? Always being sick? always fallings short? Well stop… and say NO, this is what I SEE, and begin to say it out loud and cause the enemy to flee from your life. And walk where God wants you to walk.

Why did I poor my heart out here? Why did I put myself out there for all to see? Why did I show a side that know one sees? Because God is using me to be a witness to all, and that means that I’m walking where HE wants me too and that those fears have no hold on me!

Open your heart today and begin to SEE!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Oh what to write..

well, so much has been going on here the past few weeks, not sure where to begin haha
but I'll give it a shot.

First, my oldest daughter and SIL are staying with us for awhile. My SIL lost his job that he has had for 6 years or so.. it was a blow, but we have been knowing that change was coming. How? well.. God had been revealing things to us and showing us things were about to change.

They come and stay with us and I love when they are here. Seeing they live 2 hr. away from me, and I would much rather keep them close to me haha.. it's a mother thing haha. But we know everything will turn out just fine because we know God has his hand on their lives. We have a lot of fun when all of us are together and it just makes me feel complete having them here.

Second, Jessie has a new guy-friend haha.. I know, she's 13 and boys are starting to really look at her. This is her second guy-friend in her life LOL.. now you would have to know jessie. She's not one for drama at all. If all the girls are having the normal girl drama things going on.. she just walks off haha.. and she doesn't like all the boy friend - girl friend dram too. She's kinda like me, talk to me normal, tell me straight up front and don't play games haha. Now, can she be a dram queen when she wants....... oh yes, you bet!! Don't get her started.. and hubby knows just how to push those buttons haha. but as for others drama.. she's not into that. But, back to the new guy-friend... he's so nice and polite and loves going to church with us. She's walking on cloud nine! haha.. and so am I, being I ALWAYS pray for christian friends, boyfriends and husbands for my daughters. So yes, I'm pretty happy! Next time he's over i'll get a pic of them and post.

As for me, I have been busy working on a new website, getting that ready and up on the net. I feel better now that I have that done. Just have to work on tweaking it some, but I like it. haha..

Plus I had to make a trip to the doctor Tuesday.. I know my shoulder and back is healed, but I had to go ahead and keep my appointment cause they were taking me as a new patient and didn't want to miss out getting set in there haha.. but they checked me out, and gave me stuff for swelling.. so I feel better now.

So life around here has been pretty normal with the things that keep you busy like, cleaning, cooking, running, kids, husband, church and all that stuff... not to much of that - things that make you go hmmm....? well, I have had a few haha.. and will take time soon to write about that haha.. but for today, it's just a normal day at the Dooley's home haha.. and to tell the truth.. It feels good.

So for me, I just wish you a blessed day and pray that your life is just as normal as ours.
ohhh and if you want to check out my new site.. you can haha it's


Thursday, January 8, 2009

I Feel So Much Better!

Well, as most didn't even know, I had been having problems with my left shoulder, arm, neck and chest. Some time ago I had a muscle pop in my shoulder blade and man..if felt like someone took a rubber band and just hit me.

Well, I went to the doctor about a year ago.. they gave me some meds and I took a few. Now, I'm not real big on taking any meds if I can get away with it. I try more natural ways when I can... well.. the last few months it has steady gotten worse. So much so that I couldn't turn my head, I had to turn my whole body.. and the last month or so has been real bad. So I had started taking the meds cause of the pain.

Well, last Friday I called into our local radio station at the prayer hour. It's hosted by my pastor.. so I called in and told him, Pastor Ben, this time it's me that needs prayer.. so we prayed. I was still in pain, but I knew God was healing me.

Well, Monday night I went to Monday Night Prayer and they asked who needs prayer.. well, I ran down from my sound board and said.. me, me! haha.. Pastor Ben said ok patty, we'll pray for you again at the end of service.

Well, I took my keyboard downstairs and left it in the sound with Bonnie and I sat with my hubby in the back. While setting there I was in so much pain and couldn't set still. So at the end of service, Pastor Ben said.. patty, come up here and we're going to pray. So I got up and went.

He called me and another member and we both stood there.. he began to laugh.. and kept saying, ok, this is strange.. but I'm gonna do it.. and kept asking me, are you ready?? I'm like...well yes haha. So he says, raise your hands to the lord, and I did, and I closed my eyes praying. Well, the next thing I know Pastor Ben was putting a bear hug on me, picked me up and jerked me and set me back down! haha

Well, I couldn't do anything but laugh! LOL.. I thought I was going to roll on the floor laughing haha.. I sat back down by Pastor Tammie, (his wife) and we, as the whole church was just laughing. hahaha We have never seen Pastor Ben do anything like that hahaha.. and then it hit me, Oh God, I hope he didn't himself picking me up that way.. and I'm still just laughing haha

Well, about 10 min. later I'm setting there and I realized that I had NO Pain!! My shoulder wasn't burning, my neck wasn't hurting, I could move my shoulder.. it was AWESOME!! And to this day all I have is like bruised muscles.. but getting better. I have been able to get up and do what I need to do, drive to town with no pain and it's wonderful!!

But every time I think about it, I still laugh.. it was so funny but truly amazing at how God works to heal us. All I can say is...

Thank you Lord for healing me
Thank you Pastor Ben for doing what God tells you to do!!

Always let God do what he wants in your life, you never know how he will do it.. but he will!


Thursday, January 1, 2009

What's My New Years Resolution For 2009?

Ok, so I have been asked, what’s your New Year’s resolution? And to tell the truth, I didn’t have one. Now I had been thinking about it, but nothing just jumped out at me. I had tried them all in the past.. loosing weight, staying In shape, get organized and so on. But each year life would get in and have a way of changing everything I said I would do.

So, as I stood on the porch today I said.. God, what do I need to do this year?
I want these things In my life,
And god said; “Trust in me with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge me, and I will direct your paths”

where does this come from? Proverbs 3: 5-6

As I read through Proverbs 3, God began to show me all the things he has for me.

If I keep his commands on my heart he will give me long life and peace he will add to me.

If I did not forsake mercy and truth but write them on my heart I would find favor with God and man

If I was not wise in my own eyes and fear the Lord and depart from evil, it would be health to my flesh and strength to my bones.

If I honored god with all my possessions and with my Firstfruits of ALL my increase, my barns would be filled with plenty and my vats would over flow with new wine.

As it goes on in Proverbs 3, God tells me how much he wants for me.. what he says I can have if I will only acknowledge HIM in All that I do.

I find that I want things different this year; I want more of what He wants for me, and not just what I want for myself. I want to Be, Do and Have ALL that God says I can Have, BE and Do. So for me, I have to say when people ask me.. What’s your New Years resolution? I have to say.. well, I, myself have tried in the past to set my own resolutions but this year I would rather do what God wants me to do.. So this year my New Years Resolution is...

I will trust in the lord with all my heart, and lean not to my own understanding. I will acknowledge Him in all that I do and HE will direct my paths. With Him I can’t go wrong.

All I have to do each day when I get up is say.. Lord, I give you this day.. I acknowledge that You are LORD over me and my life.. and in you today Lord, YOU will direct my paths. You will direct my life, you will direct my business, you will direct my family, you will direct my health, my peace, my joy.. In you will I trust.

So in 2009 I know it will hold the BEST that God has for me and no other resolution I could ever make could ever compare with that.

Proverbs 3: 1- 35