It' seems like I come here when things are falling apart around me. I pray for the day that I can come here and write about things going in the right direction. But right now, again, it seems like things are falling apart and there is nothing I can do but pray and wait on God.
I hate divorce, it tears people apart, it's like a death.. but with death you know the ending. With divorce, you're not always sure. It breaks apart and you're not sure where all the pieces will fall. It's heart breaking to more than just the two who are splitting.
My heart is breaking because the family I had will no longer be. The times together, the family dinners, no more Sunday dinners after church. No more times of setting on the porch just talking, no time on the patio swing just enjoying each other. No more kids with their antics and things that they do. The laughter is gone, setting and planning things... it's all gone. My house will be empty of all the laughter, the love...
Yes, Walter and I will still be here, Jess is getting older and her life will move on too.. but with divorce of the two people you love, I'm just not sure what to do.
I pray all the time, I keep asking God, What do I do with that Word you gave me several years ago? Do I hold on to it or do I let go? I'm always saying... But God, you said.. In my heart, I can't let go of that Word..I almost watched them die but God saved them. Brought them back from death's door. I know He didn't save them just to split. But what can I do? I just keep praying. I just can't let go.
Now, my daughter is moving away from me and my heart breaks so bad. Things have been said, their is pain there, and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know what to do. The pain is like someone has torn my heart out. All I know to do is just keep praying.. wait on the Lord.
I have no idea what the future holds, I just pray and have to trust that God will fix it all. I pray that things get better. Life changes are never easy to take. I just pray that they allow God to heal them, fix their hearts. I just have to trust in Him, as bad as it looks, God has to have something better at the end. I'm just not sure what it is. But until He does, i'll just keep praying and waiting on the Lord.